When an individual meets with a serious accident or injury, it’s a big blow to the individual as well as the family. There is fear with anticipation of how the patient will react, how to handle the patient so he/she does not gets traumatized. All this takes a toll on the caregivers who struggle with a lot of difficult emotions like anger, fear, and guilt feeling. There is a lot of self-blaming that goes on in the mind of caregivers.
Etv Bharat Sukhibhava spoke to Kajal U.Dave, Psychologist and Play Therapist at Mindsight, Mindart, Coffee Conversations and Career Counsellor at Prafulta Psychological Wellness centre, Borivali Mumbai for some quick tips.
When an individual who is bread earner and meets with some serious trauma or accident there is a lot of change in responsibilities shared in terms of managing the house, working and taking out financial expenses. In some families, all the financial matters are handled only by one person and other caregivers don’t know anything about assets or liabilities. The caregivers are under a lot of pressure for managing finances and how to seek help. Small children have to take care of house chores while the spouse looks out for work, nurse the patient, long hospital bills. The caregivers are in the dilemma of whether hospital stay should be extended or take the patient to home.
Once the patient recovers, the caregivers are concerned about how to help the loved one to be independent. Meanwhile, they also take all mood changes and tantrums showed by the patient who naturally feels dependent on the family. In all this changes the caregiver makes self-care as there least priority and also keeps away from the social group as they constantly feel that if we get involved in social meetings we might lose out on taking care of loved one and this makes them feel guilty.
Quick Tips for caregivers:
It is okay to take time to get over tragic news and it takes time to come out of it. So don’t put more pressure on yourself.
- Accept the emotions and talk it out with someone who is close to, studies show peer group helps a lot in overcoming difficult state.
- If you still feel stuck, take help from individual counselling that can help in adjusting and coping with the situation.
- Disclosing the news or breaking the news is always difficult to the loved ones, take help of doctor or counsellor or near and dear one’s and then gradually break the news depending on how far the patient or loved one can absorb the information positively. If you find he/she is devastated, the sudden change in eating, sleep pattern or very emotional, not talking much than its advisable not to withhold further information till the person rebounds. It is important to understand that you as caregivers are not hiding the information, not lying also but withholding certain information that can be told later once the loved one is fully ready to accept the news.
- One can attend support groups which are focused on caregivers where caregivers share their situations and how they come out of it. This can motivate and serve as a guide to see approach situations and there are other people who can empathise.
- Self-care in terms of enough food sleep and some me-time is necessary to bounce back. You can do some common things with your loved one who is fighting this injury like sharing photo albums and talking of positive memories. All this makes not only you happy as a caregiver but the patient whom you are sharing this, even if he can’t respond back he can still hear or register depending on the trauma caused. Studies show a positive result in terms of recovery when the patient repeats some positive affirmations like ‘You are getting better’.
