New Year’s Eve is the one night of the year when we collectively pretend to have our lives more together than we actually do. Before you get to the inevitable countdown, there’s one question that lurks in every December-end conversation: “So, what are your plans for New Year’s?”
If this question fills you with dread, you are not alone. The problem, of course, is that it’s designed to make you feel inadequate. Say you’re staying in, and people look at you like you’ve decided to start composting your feelings. Say you’re going out, and you’re immediately met with follow-ups: “Where? With whom? Is there a theme?” It’s exhausting.
1. The Overachiever’s Plan
“I’m hosting a vision board party followed by a three-hour yoga session to manifest positive energy for 2025.”
Is it true? Probably not. Does it sound impressive? Absolutely. And the beauty of this response is that no one will ask to join you because they’ll assume they’re not on your level of “spiritual enlightenment”!
2. The Philosophical Deflection
“I don’t really believe in the concept of New Year’s. Time is a construct, you know?”
This response is ideal if you want to stop the conversation cold and leave people wondering if they should reevaluate their existence. Bonus points if you follow it up with a sip of wine and a distant stare.
3. The Nostalgic Throwback
“I’m recreating Y2K CD players, glitter gel and panic about technology crashing at midnight.”
This is a fun way to make people laugh while subtly reminding them that they don’t need elaborate plans. Plus, who wouldn’t want to spend the evening dancing to Britney's Oops!... I Did It Again?
4. The Implausible Option
“Oh, I’m going to space for the evening. Just a quick orbit around the Earth before 2025.”
This works because it’s so ridiculous that people won’t know if you’re joking, rich or both. If they press for details, just mumble something about “Elon” and change the subject.
5. The Low-Key Honesty
“Honestly? Pajamas, a blanket and Netflix. I’m planning to ring in the New Year with leftover pizza and excess amounts of chocolate.”
Surprisingly, this often earns you a look of admiration. Deep down, everyone secretly wishes they could skip the chaos and embrace the cozy life.
6. The Festive Lie
“Oh, I’m going to this exclusive underground party. You wouldn’t have heard of it; it’s very hush-hush.”
This is perfect if you want to sound cool without committing to specifics. If they ask for an invite, just say, “I wish I could, but it’s super limited capacity. Sorry!”
7. The Reverse Uno
“What about you? What are your plans for New Year’s?”
The ultimate power move. People love talking about themselves, and this question effectively shifts the spotlight away from you. Nod along as they ramble about overpriced rooftop parties and resolutions they won’t keep.
The truth is, there’s no wrong way to spend New Year’s. Whether you’re binge watching Stranger Things in your sweatpants or inventing elaborate plans to avoid scrutiny, the night is yours to celebrate however you please.
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