Breastfeeding the baby and the new routine can present in a varied manner to each mother. There are schedules to be adhered to, which can get very demanding at times. So how does a mother go about doing all this? Elders are a great support system however with the increasing trend in nuclear families; women often look forward to professional help.
ETV Bharat Sukhibhava spoke to Kajal U.Dave, Psychologist and Play Therapist at Mindsight, Mindart, Coffee Conversations, and Career Counselor at Prafulta Psychological Wellness centre, Borivali Mumbai for some quick tips.
Giving birth to a child can induce a variety of emotions in both parents but specifically visible in mothers. This is a very natural emotional roller coaster ride that ranges from joy, feeling anxious about raising a child, and how to be a good parent. It doesn’t stop here, since your routine is now dependent on baby, your appetite, sleep regime also changes which gets reflected in your mood, appetite, and sleep pattern. Father feels overwhelmed on how to connect with the child, how to carry a baby, how to develop more closeness, and how to support the wife and child in this novel time. Sleep patterns of the mother change as she needs to wake up to nappy change and nurse the baby. Waking up from sleep at repeated intervals to breastfeed the baby can cause sleep deprivation until the mother gets acclimatized to this new routine.
After the birth of the child, the mother feels emotional with the bundle of joy that has been welcomed in the world. But also has questions like how am I going to take care of the child? Am I a good mother? If it is not normal delivery, the mother has to deal with a lot of physical issues related to her health as well. The mother may have apprehensions about managing the responsibility of the family and the child. This can be demanding if both parents are working and stay in a nuclear family. Thoughts like how to keep marriage lively and give equal importance to other children. In all these self-care becomes the least priority.
While these thoughts and feelings are making their way in the mother’s mind, hormones also play a vital role. Post childbirth there is a drop in levels of mood hormones which leads to feeling anxious, irritable, and stressed. But these hormones also help in milk secretion.
Quick Tips:
- Often we say ‘Parenting doesn’t come with a Manual’ but we need to remind ourselves that right from day 1 of a child’s birth, a beautiful journey of parenting begins. So try to overcome your thoughts of being “a perfect parent” from day 1 itself. It’s okay to feel this way as you have coping mechanisms within you and around you.
- Parenting is a skill which means it can be learned and some part of how you feel is also due to hormones and chemical changes so before feeling guilty or angry towards yourself, remind yourself that you did your best and you will continue what is best for your child because that’s what in your control. Remember, every child is different.
- Breastfeeding is a beautiful experience of motherhood in terms of psychosocial development. It helps the mother and child to be closer, feel attached, and develop a sense of security. Breastfeeding also works as a stress booster for the mother. As the child grows, this also helps him/her in gratification and waiting for his needs to be met.
- Post-pregnancy there are a lot of physical changes happening in the mother and it's natural to feel different, and that leads to feeling insecure about your relationship with your partner. But here the bond you share with your partner and communication is a key to let your partner know what you are going through.
- During pregnancy and after delivery can be the best time for partners to bond as it helps in building a support system, emotional proximity increases and sharing of responsibility also takes place. This allows the other parent to actively participate in raising the kid and gives rest to the mother as well.
- Indian culture and rituals by and large follow a practice where the expecting mother is sent to a maternal place for a few months. This is a good example of psychosocial development where the lady can let her hair down however this is not always the case. Now with working women and increased acceptance of responsibility-sharing by the spouses the picture is changing. It helps the mother to take a rest, have a good support system, give undivided attention to the child, and bounce back physically and mentally. In some cultures, mothers are at paternal homes only but they have a joint family that helps in turn to build the same support system, rest, and care.
With due attention to your health, nutrition, and emotional needs you can make breastfeeding a pleasurable and cherishing experience.
