The dating scene in India has been like changing seasons! The last generation drooled over "love at first sight" that happened across a mustard field or a crowded train. A year back, it was more like "love at first swipe" followed by casual coffee dates and now to something refreshingly intentional. Thanks to dating apps, open-mindedness, and a generation eager to ditch societal scripts, the idea of dating isn't just about "finding someone" anymore – it's about finding the right someone.
Millennials and Gen Z aren't here for the surface-level attraction. They are looking for compatibility, shared values, and emotional connection as if it were a Netflix recommendation.
Intentional dating has become their mantra—swapping fleeting flings for deeper conversations, situationships for stability, and ghosting for growth. But it's not boring! The dating culture in India is still quirky—a mix of tradition and Tinder bios that coexist. Whether it's navigating a marriage-ready family WhatsApp group or debating paneer vs. chicken on a first date, love in India has never been more deliberate and dynamic. And all this happens on dating apps.
What is "Intentional Dating"?
To explain, intentional dating is dating a person who has a similar purpose and goal—meeting the one who aligns with their values, goals, and emotional wavelength. This cultural shift is dubbed "intentional dating."
"Dating app users seek a partner with clear goals and intent. It has taken the Indian dating scene by storm. If the predictions are correct, this trend is here to stay," says Ravi Mittal, Founder and CEO of the QuackQuack dating app.
Intentional dating has a purpose, clarity and a focus on long-term compatibility. It's also about asking deeper questions about 'what do I want in a partner? Does this person align with my values? Are we building something meaningful?
"Intentional dating is a mindset. It's not just one trend. I think most people on dating apps have spent enough time in casual dating. I have done that too. Now, I am looking for a more stable person who is clear and upfront about their intentions. He knows what he wants in life. That's the first quality I am looking for in a partner on dating apps," says Pratibha Padmanabhan, an architect by profession in Chennai.
"These days finding 'fun, casual dates without commitment' is so common and easy. A certain age group or people who believe in 'old school love' are not only about swiping right to such profiles. We would rather want to be matched with 'vibes' carrying similar lifestyles, thoughts and values. Most people lack emotional intelligence and it's definitely rare to find," shares Smruti Patwa, a digital marketing professional in Mumbai.
Back to basics
Clearly, GenZ is rebranding Intentional dating as the ghostbuster – avoiding guesswork, leaving little to no room for confusion and misinterpretation – the two main grounds for ghosting. Mittal confirms that since the arrival of this ghostbuster in the dating town, there has been a notable decline in ghosting incidents. "It turns out that clarity is all that was needed to clean out the ghosts on dating apps," he says.
Even though the concept of intentional dating isn't exactly new, it is very much like an arranged marriage set up in India. However, it is becoming more accepted as dating has evolved. In times of situationship and 'no-strings-attached relationships, daters want to avoid unnecessary heartbreak and energy. They want to make their intentions clear from the first step.
Nirtika Pandita, a media professional says it's a step ahead of the traditional dating of the situation and going around and figuring it out later. "The idea is not new as Indians always believed in an arranged marriage. I am going back to that. I am also looking for someone who aligns with my ideas. Initially, when I was dating casually, it was just about meeting a person, having fun and going separate ways. Now, I am very clear that I want to get married so I put that down clearly and if I find someone with a similar idea, I think of giving it a shot," says Pandita.
A cultural shift in India
In a country, where love has traditionally been mixed with family approval and societal expectations, the move toward intentional dating is a cultural shift. With this renewed idea of dating the younger generations are navigating a delicate balance between modernity and tradition. While they are open to exploring relationships on their terms, they are also mindful of the long-term implications.
Dating apps are capitalizing on this shift by promoting their platforms where users can put across their intentions. For instance, Bumble has a tagline "What are you looking for? Hinge, on the other hand, has a tagline "Designed to be deleted" which resonates with those seeking meaningful connections.
"I used to feel pressured to settle down as soon as we matched on a dating app. Now, I can take my time to know someone better and understand that we both have similar ideas rather than rushing into a relationship," says Anurag Sharma, a banker by profession in Pune. He further says, "I have stopped wasting my time as my goals are clear about what I want from a relationship. It's about quality over quantity and stability with more meaningful connections."
Relationship coach, Leena Paranjpayee says intentional dating is a result of evolving priorities. "Youth is not afraid to set boundaries and communicate what they need from a relationship. It is a healthy approach to build a stronger and longer relationship," she says. She further says that knowing your priorities is important. "It starts with knowing yourself. Once you are clear about your goals and values, finding a compatible partner is much easier."
Easier said than done
While intentional dating has its benefits, it's not without roadblocks. The idea of having clarity and purpose sometimes may feel overwhelming, especially for those who are new to dating and not sure what they want. Additionally, societal pressure to settle down can also pose a challenge for those who are navigating this new dynamic of dating and relationships.
"It's difficult to explain to my parents why I am single. I will take my time before I commit to someone. Parental pressure is real but I want to be with someone whose ideas and goals align with mine," says Nikhil Bharadwaj, a creative designer by profession.
There's no doubt that Indian millennials and Gen Z are redefining the traditional serendipitous encounters and relationships. They are proving that love isn't only about finding someone but about building meaningful relationships together. Several factors contribute to the rise of this new trend of intentional dating among the younger generations.
- Emotional Maturity: Younger generations are prioritising emotional intelligence and self-awareness, which can lead to more purposeful relationships.
- Mental health awareness: With the growing conversation around mental health, millennials and Gen Z are prioritising their mental and emotional well-being. They do not want to add stress by being in a relationship that isn't going anywhere.
- Cultural acceptance: Traditional expectations of the family still remain a big challenge for youngsters, however, society is gradually becoming more accepting of individual choices in love and relationships.
- Time and energy efficiency: Young generations don't want to waste their time on casual dating and meeting many people without any purpose anymore.
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