It’s a story as old as time... or at least as old as the age-old expectations placed on Indian women. In her witty, poignant words, Shefali has managed to highlight in her social media post not just the guilt, but the societal and self-imposed dilemmas that make simple decisions feel monumental for women.
The Struggle to Justify 'Me Time'
In her post, Shefali narrates how a carefully planned family trip to Rishikesh quickly unravelled. Coordinating dates, negotiating destinations and fielding the whims of her husband and children eventually led to a unanimous “Let’s chill at home together.” The irony? Togetherness was already an endangered species in her household, reserved for moments like Diwali photographs. Frustrated but determined, Shefali made the rare decision to go solo.
But, as she writes, that decision didn’t come without its own share of moral hurdles. The guilt of spending money on herself, the weight of societal norms that suggest a woman’s happiness is tied exclusively to her family’s, and the ever-present internal voice whispering, “What will people think?” these are struggles that so many women in India know all too well. Shefali’s post captures the bittersweet reality of Indian womanhood: a life lived in constant service to others, where the act of prioritizing oneself feels like a rebellion.
Shefali’s candid reflection on her “middle-class values” is another layer of this story. For generations, these values have been held up as a badge of honour, teaching resilience, humility, and gratitude. But as Shefali points out, they also come with an invisible price tag, especially for women.
The idea that anything beyond basic necessities (food, shelter, clothing) is an “exorbitant indulgence” is ingrained in many middle-class households. For women, this belief is compounded by centuries of conditioning that frames them as caregivers first, individuals second. Shefali’s battle with her inner voice, questioning her right to spend money on herself or enjoy a trip alone, is a battle many women have fought silently.
Her response to this internalized guilt (booking the trip and declaring “Ja Simran, ja. Jee le apni zindagi” from Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge) is a triumphant and humorous reminder that women deserve joy, rest and space for themselves too.
Breaking The Cycle Of Guilt
By choosing to spend a few days wrapped in a blanket, reading a book, sipping wine, and soaking in the serenity of Rishikesh, Shefali gave herself something that is far too rare for women: time to simply be. Her story encourages other women to do the same, to silence the voice of doubt and guilt and embrace moments of self-care unapologetically.
When women like her choose themselves, even for a weekend, they inspire others to do the same. So, to all the Indian women juggling a thousand responsibilities and putting themselves last: take a page from Shefali Shah’s book. Book that solo trip, indulge in that spa day, or simply spend an afternoon doing something just for you. And when guilt comes knocking, holler right back: “Ja Simran, ja. Jee le apni zindagi.”
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