What makes couples emotionally distant?

At times, due to several reasons, couples become emotionally distant and are left with a feeling of loneliness, even when they are living together. This kind of feeling usually creeps during middle age and can affect one's emotional health, leading to stress, sadness, hopelessness and even lack of self-confidence. Here are 3 reasons why it may happen.

Dr. Renuka, a Psychologist based in Uttarakhand says that many times, people become so habitual of each other and engrossed in their routine and responsibilities that they stop expressing love and care for their partner or making them feel important. This can leave them feeling emotionally distant and frustrated in a relationship. Dr. Renuka explains the following reasons that can lead to feeling lonely in a relationship:

1. High expectations:
   Dr. Renuka explains that knowingly or unknowingly, couples have many expectations from each other and when they are not met, they begin complaining and expressing anger. Partners expect a lot from each other and these expectations are not limited to mutual feelings but are also related to financial issues, behavior towards each other’s families, family responsibilities and many other related things. In such a situation, if there is an absence of communication between the partners, such issues may remain unresolved and cause emotional distance between the two.
2. Lack of emotional connection:
   In case of lack of emotional dependence, partners do not interact much and begin feeling emotionally isolated, despite living together. This is because in the beginning of a relationship, both the partners talk a lot, express their love and try to woo, which makes them more attracted to each other and brings them closer. However, eventually, with time, as the responsibilities of job, family, finance and kids soak in, they get engrossed in it and become emotionally distant from each other.
3. Betrayal:
   At times, when their emotional or physical requirements are not met at home, not just men, but women also look for it outside their home and feel attracted toward their co-workers or people besides their partner. This can escalate quickly and end up in office romance and extramarital affairs. However, despite this, many partners live together with broken trust, which can be frustrating and lead to anger and hatred towards each other. This can further cause emotional distance and feelings of loneliness.

Dr. Renuka mentions that regardless of age, it is very important to respect your partner in a relationship and have good communication. Relationships are based on love, respect, trust, harmony and communication. Therefore, if the couple feels uncomfortable in a relationship, it is advised that the partners discuss openly about it. This gives them a chance to improve themselves. One can also seek the help of their friends, family or even children to make a relationship work. Despite all this, if the problem persists, help from a relationship counselor can be sought.