Marriage is considered as a sacred institution in our country. Everyone knows and recognizes its importance at the social and religious level. But in a society where marriage is considered to be an unbreakable bond between the two people, many people having post-marital relationships also exist. Although society does not acknowledge such relationships, but looking at the number of such cases in the past few years, it seems as if it is becoming a tradition in our society. To understand more about the thinking, behaviour and mentality of people due to which the incidences of extra marital affairs is increasing, the ETV Bharat Sukhibhava team spoke to an expert Psychiatrist, Dr. Veena Krishnan.
Why Do Extra Marital Affairs Begin?
Dr. Krishnan explains that it is human behaviour to be attracted towards new ones and some people are tempted very easily. Apart from this, stress, irritation, emotional attachment to someone, dissatisfaction with physical relationships, longing to have some new sexual experiences, lack of love in relationship with time and getting annoyed with your partner’s certain habits are some other reasons why people are tempted by such relationships. To some extent, our society is also responsible, for the very reason that boys and girls are not allowed to mingle when they are young. In addition to it, people, especially the young ones are deprived of sex education. Therefore, when they start a married life based on almost little to no knowledge of sex and relationships, those relationships that are bound to last forever usually fail. Tension begins to arise between the couple and as a result of which, people wish to fulfill their desires and indulge with someone else, but their spouse. This is where extra marital affairs begin.
Causes Of Extra Marital Affairs
The biggest reason for initiating post-marital relationships is physical attraction and a desire to change physical relationships. Dr. Krishnan explains that some people believe that many times, they are not able to enjoy their sex life with their spouse, while some say that after a while, there is monotony and boredom in their relationship, which is why they are attracted to such relationships. But our expert says that this argument is completely baseless. There are many people who, despite being fully satisfied with their sex life, have relationships outside. Love and trust are the basis of a husband-wife relationship and physical relationship works to increase this love and binds the relationship between the couple. But when the feeling of love begins to subside between the two, then both start feeling insecure on an emotional level.
The reason for post marital affairs is not just sexual attraction or sexual relationships. Sometimes, it can also be due to lack of emotional attachment or bonding between the two. And when they indulge into a relationship outside their marriage, it starts with an emotional connection and gradually turns into a physical relationship. Dr. Krishnan tells that many times couples also get into extra marital affairs to teach a lesson to their partner for a reason. In such relationships there is neither sexual desire nor love but only a feeling of revenge. Also, sometimes while sharing the same workspace, men and women tend to have an emotional and physical relationship with one another.
Effects Of Extra Marital Affairs On Marriage
Dr. Krishnan explains that if there is more emotional bonding in post-matrimonial relationships, then people get separated or divorced from their spouses. But in most situations, spouses remain together for the sake of their family and children. However, the relationship between them is highly disturbed and disloyalty of the spouse leads to stress and depression. An extramarital affair is not a personal failure of either husband or wife, which is why, both must swallow their anger, ego, sorrow and hatred and talk to each other. This way, they can have a new beginning in their relationship and start again with a happy life.
Therefore, extra marital affairs are not the solution to any problem that arises between a husband and wife. The only thing that it brings is disloyalty, unfaithfulness and insecurity between them. It can also disrupt a happy family. Thus, communicating to your partner is the best way to resolve marital issues.
