Hyderabad: It's been more than a year but Sutapa Sikdar, wife of late actor Irrfan Khan still finds it difficult to watch his movies. Sutapa, who is still grappling with the loss and learning to live life without Irrfan whom she knew more than three decades since their days in NSD, has revealed why it's not possible for her to watch Irrfan's films.
NSD classmates who turned soulmates In a recent podcast with a radio jockey, Sutapa spoke at length about dealing with grief and how she is doing many firsts in her life since Irrfan's demise. When asked how soon after Irrfan's passing was she prepared emotionally to watch his movies or touch his belongings, Sutapa said, "I can't see his films... even now, I haven't seen any of his films."
Sutapa said she saw Paan Singh Tomar when it got screened at the 51st International Film Festival of India but except that she still lacks the courage to watch Irrfan's movies but she did touch his clothes. Sharing more about why she keeps away from watching Irrfan's films, Sutapa further said, "Film is about him talking to me and he is not there. It's a very different thing. I just saw that one film (Paan Singh Tomar)...I just can't."
Sutapa Sikdar and Irrfan Khan from their happier times With a lump in her throat, Sutapa further adds, "While watching a film he looks so alive and the moment he looks alive the whole pain of that he's not there becomes much more herder."
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Sutapa also spoke about her elder son Babil Khan getting into movies and the inevitable comparisons that will follow his debut film Qala. What concerns her most is the burden that Babil will have to carry while he should be concentrating on his skills, "I feel that's most sad and unfair part and I'm helpless because there will be trolls, there will be people comparing which I feel is the most difficult part. I really wish I could save him."
Sutapa-Irrfan in a candid click Sutapa also said that she hopes the world is little kinder with Babil as he is still "dealing with grief, he is vulnerable." She also said that judging Babil as a 22-year-old actor is acceptable but to compare him with Irrfan would be unfair to the budding actor.
Irrfan is known for his signature screen presence that his films memorable. His unforgettable performances include The Lunchbox, Maqbool, Qissa, The Namesake, Haasil, Life In A... Metro, Hindi Medium, and Angrezi Medium. The actor battled neuroendocrine tumour for around a year and received treatment in the UK. He returned to India in February 2020, just before the release of his final film, "Angrezi Medium" in March. Irrfan passed away on April 29, 2020. He was 53.
