Washington: Shawna Jensen’s moment of reckoning came in March, as she sat in her suburban Fort Worth, Texas, living room next to her fireplace. Her laptop was open to a Zoom happy hour with five girlfriends. She sucked in a breath, gripping her glass of red wine.
“Hey, guys, I gotta tell you something,” she said. The women, all white, Republican, suburban moms, stared back at her.
Jensen’s heart raced. How would they react? What would they think? She never dreamed she would utter these words aloud.
“I’m not voting for Trump this year. My heart will not let me do it. I can’t vote for someone who is that ugly to other people.”
An uncomfortable pause descended over the screen. “Oh, OK,” one woman said, in a strained voice.
Since then, the 47-year-old hasn’t been invited to parties, and the Zoom happy hours have been few.
Jensen is among former Donald Trump supporters who are voting for Democrat Joe Biden this year, breaking ranks with family, friends and, in many cases, a lifelong political affiliation. They say it’s caused them anguish, both to personal relationships and their own identity. They wanted change and disruption until they found out what that looked like under President Trump.
Trump’s case for reelection rests almost solely on the intensity of support from those who backed him four years ago. Unlike other modern presidents, he has done little to try to expand his base, and there’s no evidence that he has. So he cannot afford to lose many voters like Jensen.
It’s unclear how many voters like Jensen are out there white, middle-class people who are pro-gun and anti-abortion rights, solid Republicans in most conventional ways and how they will affect the election’s outcome. Voters like Jensen could be only a slice of the electorate, but they still represent a flashing caution sign for the president.
Trump's support among Republicans has been stable throughout his time in office. For all those voters repelled by Trump, there are diehard legions who remain solidly with him because they believe he honoured his campaign promises, shows strengths and has presided over an economy that was flourishing before the pandemic.
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In a tight race especially in swing states, those who are abandoning Trump could make a difference.
In two dozen interviews with voters in three traditional swing states and Texas, people discussed why they aren’t voting for him again and what it feels like to leave behind a political allegiance that was part of their identity.
“Everything that I thought I knew doesn’t exist anymore,” said 22-year-old Zach Berly, of North Carolina, who was active in high school and college Republican clubs and enthusiastically cast his first presidential ballot for Trump in 2016 but won’t be voting for him in November. “There has to be another solution. I don’t even know what I am.”
The bedrock of Trump’s America is white voters who are 45 or older, and they are largely solidly with him, especially in rural areas. According to a Pew Research Center study, the 2018 elections showed a decline in support for Republicans in suburban areas, and if that is true in 2020, it provides an opening for Biden.
“Joe Biden’s a family man and so am I, and that’s how I’m connecting with him,” said Jensen. “He loves his kids and his wife, you can tell it. For me, he’s the safer of the two candidates. And he doesn’t make fun of people.”
Nearly everyone who spoke with The Associated Press said they had hesitations about voting for Trump in 2016 but chose him anyway because of his outsider status and willingness to shake up Washington. They expected him to grow into the job. Jensen was one of those voters.
“I was super proud that day I walked out of voting,” said Jensen, who voted for Trump in the primary and general election in 2016. She’d been a lifelong Republican. “My son was with me, and he just turned 18. He voted for Trump as well. It was a year of ‘Hey, let’s do something different.’ I thought he was going to drain the swamp, get rid of career politicians, small government, be a leader. We wanted everything to change.”
She recalled Ronald Reagan. He was an out-of-the-box, unusual choice, and so was Trump. “I was looking for that Reagan-esque, (Arnold) Schwarzenegger appeal.
“Looking back, though, it was all a big mistake.”
Jensen sighs a lot when talking about the 2016 election. When Trump became president, he didn’t become president, she noted. His tweets were alarming, and so was his rhetoric. But she could overlook a lot.
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Her first serious inkling that he didn’t align with her values was when he nominated Betsy DeVos as secretary of education. Jensen, who is a librarian at a high school, felt that DeVos wasn’t qualified.
But there were many other troubling signs to come, including Trump’s habit of belittling people. “I started being mindful. Watching things. Growing up with traditional Christian values, it bothered me how he made fun of people,” she said.
She tried to focus on her favourite things in life: ’80s music, books, her ownership in a small cattle ranch in her native Oklahoma. She shared plenty of photos of her colourful life on Facebook. But politics crept in like a grey fog that clings to the edge of nightmares. The more Jensen learned about Trump, the less she liked. For the first time in her life, she was uncomfortable with a Republican.
Friends would cite the stock market as proof of Trump’s success, and Jensen grew increasingly annoyed. Previously, she’d lived in a half-million-dollar home in Texas with her ex-husband. That was where she met most of her social circle and developed deep friendships with a group of women.
But after her divorce, she moved into a “regular, USD 200,000 teacher’s home,” and later married a man who coached high school football. She was solidly middle class and happy with her life, but couldn’t understand how her wealthier friends didn’t see what was going on with anyone but their kind.
“Not everything is based off the stock market,” she said. “Most regular people just don’t have stocks. Everything about the stock market comments irritated me.”
Over Trump’s first term, as Jensen grew more alarmed by the president’s actions, her stance on many issues started to shift. She began to read different news sources, scour new types of books. She watched MSNBC along with Fox News and read about media bias and immigration.
Everything she thought she believed was in question. She’d loved George W Bush and was a strong critic of Barack Obama. Now? She found herself warming to U.S. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, a progressive Democrat from the Bronx, which was about as far away from suburban Texas as you could get.
“I love her spirit,” said the mother of four, who is equally at ease in a leopard-print sweater as dingy brown farm coveralls. “But sometimes she’s too much, she turns people off. I don’t like her rhetoric, but I love that she’s a passionate woman. She stands up for her values, even though they’re different than mine.”
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Even admitting that much about such a left-leaning politician was shocking to Jensen.
With each new scandal and breaking news alert, she felt like her eyes were opening for the first time. Perhaps, she thought, she’d been too rigid in her thinking.
Hispanic immigrants? She noticed several in the school where she worked. It made her think of Trump’s fixation on a border wall. “The wall bothered me, and the inhumane way we were treating Hispanic people.”
Abortion? “I’m pro-life, but I just feel that Republicans have become so hung up on our abortion stance that we are letting this man ruin us.”
She’s also left baffled by Trump’s Cabinet and campaign staffing choices. “The buck stops with the leader. He can’t keep staff. Why does he have so much turnover?” She paused. “People don’t leave when you have a good boss. Why is it that he cannot keep the Cabinet? It’s one crisis after another, and all he does is go on Twitter. Does he have a job?”