Parents must spend quality time with children during Lockdown

Senior Journalist Aarti Dhar writes on good parenting ideas like involving children in domestic chores, helping children with their studies and developing positive habits during the times of COVID-19.

Hyderabad:Staying at home for three weeks is not a happy situation for anyone. It is even more difficult for children and adolescents who are used to being out of home – either at school, tuitions or being with friends. Since the schools are shut and children cannot go out, it is adversely impacting their mental health.

Children are feeling restless, stressed and irritable. Hence, this puts more responsibility on parents to handle children with more love, care and patience. But schools being closed is also a chance to improve relationships with children and teenagers.

With lot of time available, parents can utilize this for making children feel loved and secure.

The World Health Organisation, Unicef, Parenting for Lifelong Health, Internet of Good Things, CDC and Accelerate have come up with some suggestions for parents to make their children feel important and loved during this difficult phase.

According to the set of suggestions, parents have been advised to set aside time to spend with each child. It can be for just 20 minutes or more during which the child should be asked what he/she would like to do while following the rules of social distancing.

For toddlers, it would be nice to sing songs and play music with pans and spoons, playing with stacks and blocks or even read a story or read a book. Teenagers can be entertained by talking about something they like such as sports, TV show and friends.

Walking around or inside the house and doing a workout together would be highly appreciated.

It would be a good idea to switch off TV and mobile phone for a while, and utilise this time to read a book or look at pictures, or dance. It would nice for children if they were involved in domestic chores such as cleaning and cooking. But, helping children with homework and studies is critical.

The times are equally tough for parents dealing with children. Parents often end up telling their children not to do things or even shouting at them. It would be nice if parents were more `positive’ towards their children and praised them for behaving well.

Praising children will not only motivate them but also reassure them that they are being noticed and cared for. It is important to request children instead of asking them. Shouting at children would only make children more stressed and angry. Speak in a calm voice.

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Teenagers need to be able to communicate with friends. Give them the time and space to express themselves—especially if they are wanting to talk about their own fears and concerns.

The suggestions also ask the parents to make a schedule for the children for structured activities as well as free time. This can help children feel more secure and better behaved. Including exercise in each day will help with stress and kids with lots of energy at home.

Another activity could be helping children write letters and draw pictures to share with people—even taking a photo of them and sending it.

Make handwashing and hygiene fun so that children make it their habit. It is also important to tell the children why handwashing and social distancing needs to be followed. Parents have to be a model for their children and they need to follow the practice themselves. At the end of each day, take a minute to think about the day.

Tell the child about one positive or fun thing they did. Bad behaviour is not uncommon. More so, when children are tired, hungry, afraid or learning independence. Being at home can add to bad behaviour.

Quality time, praise for good and consistent routines will reduce bad behaviour. Even parents need to take care of themselves and remain calm and manage stress. For this, it is important to be open and listen to the children as they will look to you for support and reassurance.

Listen to the children when they share how they are feeling. Avoid social media that makes you feel panicked. When families are crowded in together, it is best to find other ways of relaxing or de-stressing. Alcohol can make one shout, hit each other and feel angry.

One minute relaxation activity can be done at home to relax the mind and introspect your thoughts and notice how one feels emotionally. Be willing to talk on every issue. Children would have already heard something. Silence and secrets do not protect children but honesty and openness do.

Think about how much they will understand. It would be helpful to always answer questions truthfully and it is fine not to know the answer. Sometimes children may as the same questions many time. It is reassuring for them if the answers and explanations are repeated in a calm and supportive way.