7 Red Flags That Show Your Partner Isn’t Serious About Your Relationship

We explore the tell-tale signs that your partner might not be as invested as you are, basically he's just not that into you

You know that sinking feeling in your gut? The one you get when you’re putting in all the effort and your partner is treating your relationship like a casual group project where they’re just there for the grades? Sometimes, the signs are so obvious they might as well come with neon lights and a marching band. If you’re feeling like something’s off, you might be onto something.

1. You’re the One Always Making Plans

Remember that time he texted, “We should hang out sometime,” and then...nothing? If you’re the one constantly arranging dates, booking movie tickets or even just trying to get a simple phone call on the calendar, that’s a major red flag. Says Sheetal Vohra-Gulati, Career Coach and Behaviour Therapist at Positive Ripples Counselling Services in Pune: “A healthy relationship is about mutual effort. You deserve someone who’s just as excited to see you as you are to see them.” And let’s be real: if he can’t be bothered to set aside time for you, he’s probably not taking this seriously.

2. Zero Meaningful Conversations

Talking to him feels like a game of emotional ping-pong where you’re doing all the paddling, and he’s barely returning the ball. You open up about your feelings, your day, or even your favourite obscure documentary, and he responds with a blank stare or worse, a “cool.” As Sheetal says, “If he avoids meaningful conversations or dismisses your emotions, it’s a sign he’s not investing as much in the relationship as you are.” You need a partner, not a cardboard cutout.

3. You Feel Like a Backup Plan

You’ve lost count of how many times he has cancelled plans last minute or “forgotten” about your coffee date. Yet, when he’s bored or suddenly free, guess who gets a last-minute “You up?” text. It’s not because you’re his priority; it’s because you’re convenient. And no, convenience is not a love language.

4. His Phone Is His BFF

Ever notice how he’s got lightning-fast reflexes when it comes to responding to group chats but somehow takes hours to text you back? If his phone gets more attention than you do, it’s time to reconsider who (or what) he’s actually invested in. A guy who’s serious about you won’t leave you wondering if your texts got lost in the Bermuda Triangle.

He is always glued to his phone but does not respond to your messages when you're apart (Freepik)

5. He’s MIA When You Need Him

You spill coffee on your favourite dress, you have a terrible day at work or you’re just feeling a little blue... and he’s nowhere to be found. A partner who’s serious about you will show up when it matters, not just when it’s convenient. If he’s avoiding the tough moments, he’s probably not in this for the long haul.

6. Your Friends Don’t Like Him

Your besties have a sixth sense about these things. If they’ve been dropping hints (or outright telling you) that he’s not putting in the effort, it’s worth listening. Sometimes, we get so caught up in wanting things to work that we miss what’s right in front of us. Trust your squad; they know you deserve better.

7. You’re Always Second-Guessing Yourself

Healthy relationships don’t leave you questioning your worth. If you’re constantly overthinking his actions (or lack thereof) it’s a sign something’s off. A partner who’s serious about you will make you feel secure, not like you’re solving a riddle every time you interact.

It’s tough to face the fact that your partner might not be as invested as you are, but it’s also liberating. As Sheetal Vohra-Gulati reminds us, “You deserve someone who puts in the effort, respects your feelings, and makes you feel valued.” So, if any of these signs hit a little too close to home, it might be time to re-evaluate.